yes im frustrated. yes im sad. but i think im mostly upset. asking your boyfriend to stop talking to a homewrecking whore.. shouldnt be a difficult decision to make right? it’s like this.. if you LOVE someone enough, nothing else matters but them. right? i mean in a perfect world. but since we don’t live in a perfect world.. i would have the most frustrating luck on guys. especially this one. he told me no. he wont stop talking to her.. his excuse? “because she’s a person. and you have to trust me.” it has nothing to do with damn trust. it has to do with the fact that i HATE the fucken whore. it’s that simple. in a NORMAL relationship, they would stop. especially when you put your relationship on the line. but apparently my relationship is NOT normal.. i already made my decision. it’s me or her. i don’t care what anyone has to say about me or about this. i’m starting to think that it’s time not to worry about relationships because what i really should be worrying about is work and about school. i am now going to make those the most important things to me. everything else would come after it.

wow. i never knew how close jonathan & i are. how even when he doesn’t agree with me about something, he understand where i’m coming from. and he understands what i’m saying and what i mean. it’s kinda amazing. and i love it most when im thinking something, he would come out and say the same thing. it’s funny. it’s like sometimes i feel like he reads my mind ! :P it’s just an amazing thing to find love. even when he’s an asshole, and can make me feel like shit, and can make me cry. you just gotta realize that “for there to be good, there has to be bad as well.”

never again will i tell myself “i’m not good enough”. because now i have the self confidence to say it’s their lost, not mine. sure nothing happened. but i came to the realization about that. another thing i realize is that no matter how long a couple has been in a relationship for, one or both of them will have the thoughts of cheating. it’s funny really. how one day you can say “i love you so much”, “i will never leave you”, “i want to be with you forever,” etc and then the next day you can have a temptation of cheating on someone that you probably told that you loved them the day before. it’s funny really. or maybe just plain sad. that someone’s word can end up meaning nothing afterwards. sure, it’s a good thing that you didn’t do it. but to even have that thought, that hurts just as much. it’s a shame.. 

for a moment i believed that not all guys are the same.

omg, so you know what the funniest thing about people? when you can’t get someone you want.. you go and find someone so similar to them. ahahhaha. bitch please. no one can copy the best. (: that’s why god only made one of them! i think i’m becoming such a mean person. but i mean, seriously. how many times can you put up with these skanks and hoes before you’re saying i’m sick and tired of them? one more of these hoes show up in my face and piss me off.. i swear i will claw their face out. stop fcking with me. it’s as simple as that. i’m a sweetheart! everyone says so. but there are just some people i can not stand because i mean, doooode. you’re so childish. it’s okay to be “childish” sometimes. but at church? i mean, grow up and act like an adult.

“an average couple fights 311 times in a year.”

WHAT THE HECK?! seriously, that’s almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. i never knew that was normal.. *shakes head* i mean, i just thought my friends (and my) relationship were.. different? with all the fighting. but then again, we still are “young adults.” but seriously, i’m gonna start ranting about guys. they’re starting to have a problem where they need to get CHECKED. WHO THE FUCK PRETENDS TO BE THEIR EX AND TEXT THEIR GIRLFRIEND? WHEN THEY KNOW THEIR GIRLFRIEND HATES THE WHORE? seriously, who does that? i mean, damn. i might not be perfect. but i don’t pull shit like that. because i’m not stupid and am not looking to ruin a relationship. treat people the way you wanna be treated. looks like you wanna be treated bad. shit. the person you treat bad.. they aren’t going to be around forever. they are gonna one day realize what an ass you’re being.. and they are gonna leave. gonna find someone better. someone who won’t treat them like garbage. so guys, if you love your girl. hold onto them, treat them right. because in the end, no one wants to be with someone who hurts them.

i don’t understand how my dad gave my brother $500 to buy a computer..  but when i asked him if he can give me $200 to pay for CLASSES and i will PAY HIM BACK, he said he doesn’t know if he can give me the money. this always happens with my family, my brother comes first. he always does. i feel like sometimes they spoil him too much. and when i point it out to either my mom or dad, they tell me that it isn’t true. :l i cant wait to have a real job and move out, then i will depend on MYSELF AND MY BUTTCHEEK <3

isn’t it funny how girls react differently than guys? guys all stick up for each other and i guess girls do too. but like, guys all have ONE mind or something. seriously. i mean, i dont give two shits on who YOU are, but dont tell me that i’m in the wrong when i’m not FORGIVING a homewrecking whore and someone who called me a booty call. it’s like IT’S AS SIMPLE AS THAT. I DONT FORGIVE THEM. =.= SHOOOT. so idk why people BUTT INTO MY BUSINESS. what i feel about someone is MY issue. i feel like PEOPLE live to gossip, PEOPLE live to butt into other people’s lives. no, i’m sick of it. i’m sick of people trying to CONTROL me and trying to tell me how to act.

THIS IS MY LIFE. YOU CAN AT LEAST GET A LIFE OR IF YOU HAVE ONE, GO CONTROL IT.

god, you are such a bipolar ass! one minute you would be all sweet and nice and then the next minute start bitching and “fake” crying. shit, im getting so damn irritated with you. seriously. DAMN I ALREADY HEARD EVERYTHING YOU HAD TO SAY. what happened to “everything would be okay. dont worry about it.” so now why are you bitching and throwing a tantrum? i dont understand. god, you act like a 5 year old sometimes. URGHHHHH. and you act like you know everything! SHIT! THEY HAVENT FIGURED OUT THE LIABILITY YET! SO HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY KNOW?!?!? you swearr  you’re super smart. =.=